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Q.
I recently overheard my colleagues bashing me after a meeting. Should I let them know I'm aware of their feelings, or pretend I don't know?

A.
Leaders may not always be liked, but they should always be respected. As the leader, you need to face these disparaging comments in a way that confronts what was said to handle them wisely.

It's a good idea to meet with those colleagues and address your concerns to them directly. Let them know that by talking behind your back and in effect stirring a pot of dissent, they potentially do the whole team a great disservice. Emphasize that respect and honesty among team members means that we call each other out, as well as lift each other up, when necessary. But for criticism to be useful, it needs to be in the open, not in the shadows.

Furthermore, address the elephant in the room: the comments themselves. This is an opportunity where you can relay the remarks you heard to the group. Explain to them that you want to keep the conflict from escalating and ask for their perspective on the matter. Assure them their opinion will be listened to and nothing punitive will result from their being open and candid. For those who do not wish to voice their feelings in a public forum, offer the opportunity to communicate with you privately and go over any issues. In the end, being able to handle criticism without becoming distracted by it will help you become the leader you most want to be. E



Dan Lumpkin, organizational psychologist, is the president of management-consulting company Lumpkin & Associates in Fairhope, AL. Need answers? Email your career-related questions to askdan@exhibitormagazine.com.
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